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Investigate;
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Investigate: Basic Rule #5:
In your quest for the perfect wedding, you have a lot of choices to make, among them:
- What wedding reception facility will we rent?
- What wedding gown will be chosen?
- Who will be hired to produce the wedding invitations?
- Who will bake and decorate the wedding cake?
(See basic rule #2 - The List, for information about all the questions that you will need to answer.)
In order to make informed choices - the right choices for you - there are two kinds of investigating that you could do.
The first kind of investigation...
The first kind of investigations will be the easy kind to do. As a matter of fact, people will probably line up to give you their contributions! I'm talking about informal investigations; stories and opinions that friends and family will tell you about their experiences at other weddings. Once the engagement has been announced, The Wedding becomes a hot topic of conversation to all people who know that this couple is getting married. My advice? Do listen to all stories and opinions that people tell you.
However, remember that each wedding and the tastes and desires of each engaged couple is different, too. What is a great choice for Matt and Maria might be a horrible choice for Mark and Sarah.
For example...
Aunt Liz phones one day and says she's just been to the most beautiful wedding. It was at a banquet hall in the north end of Toronto and it was absolutely lovely. Aunt Liz goes on to tell you all about the elaborately decorated banquet hall - the fountain in the lobby, the HUGE room which was set up for 250 guests with no crowding, the high ceiling with wonderful accoustics so guests could talk without being drowned out by the band, the delicious 9-course specialty-of-the-house meal which was served... Such a wonderful wedding reception! "You should have your reception there too," Aunt Liz tells you.
For all the praise Aunt Liz heaps on this banquet hall, don't even bother writing this one on the list of possible reception venues if you want your wedding to be small (Fifty guests will feel lost in a room built to house 250), simply elegant (A nine-course meal may be overkill to accomplish that), and too far away from the church where the ceremony will take place. We hope that the wedding that Aunt Liz attended was the wedding of the married couple's dreams, but you may be dreaming something entirely different. Recognize this. Take all the interesting, pertinent facts from all the stories you hear and discard the parts that aren't you. In this case, you may want to take note of the fact about the high ceilings and acoustics and the not-too-loud band if having your guests able to converse with each other during the evening is important to you. Mark that on your list of priorities for the perfect reception venue. Aunt Liz's venue has too many things wrong with it for your particular wedding, but the high ceilings comment is maybe something you wouldn't have thought of before she told you her story. That part is a keeper. WRITE IT DOWN.
Bottom line...
Bottom line for informal investigations? Recognize everything that everyone tells you or that your hear through the grapevine, but choose only what is right for you!
The second kind of investigation...
Then there are the more formal kinds of investigations that should be made in order for you to be able to make informed choices. I talked about making The List (budget) of everything that has to be purchased for this wedding. Just as you wouldn't (usually!) plan to buy a house and then pass a for sale sign on a lawn and buy that house right then, sight unseen just because it fits into your budget, you shouldn't do something similar with the things you need to buy or book for your wedding. Here's an example:
Mark and Sarah's List shows that they need to order their wedding cake. They really, really, really want a traditional white, 3-tiered, fruitcake with royal icing and just a few icing flowers here and there, maybe some ribbon, for decoration - something simple.
They call a bakery recommended to them by friends and find that this bakery can offer them the cake they want for $225. Well, that falls within their budget.
However their Planner, Mark's mother, Leslie, decides to call 2 other bakeries, one that she's seen advertized in a local newspaper and another she passes on her way to the gym which always has lovely window displays. The bakery with the newspaper ad can also offer the wedding cake that Mark and Sarah want but they are going to charge $250 for virtually the same cake. They will, however, deliver it right to the reception hall the morning of the wedding and set the cake up however Mark and Sarah want it to be done.
"Ah", Leslie thinks, the first bakery does not offer this service. If we go with bakery number one, we'll have to get someone to pick the cake up from the bakery the morning of the big day and deliver to the reception venue and set it up as well.
The third bakery, the one Leslie passes every day, does not do any kind of fruitcake in the size Mark and Sarah want for under $300 - so this bakery is out of the picture completely since this is over the budget set for the wedding cake and Leslie knows that she can get the cake the couple wants for a price which is within their budget. Bakery number three is not offering anything which they can't get somewhere else for less money.
So the choice is between the first two bakeries. Leslie, Mark and Sarah decide that bakery number two, with their delivery service, is well worth the extra $25. That way, they don't have to worry about getting someone from the family to take care of the task on what will be a very busy day, they get the cake they want and they stay within their budget. This choice feels right to them, which is a good indication that it is right!
This kind of investigation doesn't need to take a lot of time, but is really worthwhile. On all of the things on The List, get at least two or three different quotes and know exactly what you'll be getting for your money, before you make your final decisions.
Rule number 6 for a perfect wedding is... who's important?
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